Boys will be boys, but...

Recently I found myself giving some "advice" to a 12 year old boy that I know. Advice that I gave my husband when we were dating. Advice that I give all men and will give Little B on a regular basis. Laughing now as I think about how my conversation started, I decided it was time I write down some of my suggestions for Little B now...

I understand that boys will be boys.  I'm fully expecting all of the silly, crude and inappropriate things that boys do from Cameron, but as a rule there are some things that are just not acceptable - especially not in public!

As I told this 12 year old boy, if you ever want to pick up chicks, or to make a good impression, here's what you need to know:

A) Whatever you do - NO loogies. period. Don't do it unless you are sick and hawking up your life. AT HOME. That is by far the only time it is acceptable to spit, hawk or spew a loogie.

B)  Do not snort your snot. I don't know what other way to explain it, but your sniffing so hard it snorts your snot all the way and then you don't have anywhere to spit that loogie you've just worked up so you're now swallowing you're snot - we know. It's beyond disgusting. Just blow your nose. please.

C)  I say this in the best way possible. There is no need to scratch or adjust yourself (you know which parts  I mean). If it's bothering you that bad, go to the bathroom. I don't need to be having a full conversation with someone that has their hand grabbing at themselves. Eh sure, boys will be boys, but why does that make it ok? It's unnecessary.  

D) Girls like a guy with a sense of humor. This is so true...but (big but), if you're going to be funny, be witty, be charming. Sense of humor does not equal crude, cruel or obnoxious.

So be boys. Get dirty, have fun, wrestle and do boy things, but I'm going to work my tail off teaching my little boy how to be a quality man that doesn't completely gross me out.  The biggest fight will be drinking out of the container. I'm still working on Tim with that one. In a Benton World, we are all works in progress.