Disclaimer: read at your own risk.
I don't know how appropriate it is to discuss breast-pumping for the world to read, but I'd like to go ahead and put it out there: I appreciate the dairy cow. As a fellow cow these days I can totally relate.
My favorite situational pumps:
The Pre-workout pump: it's not ideal to workout with mom boobs as it is, but it's beyond miserable running or exercising when feeling full.
The Pre-Swimming pump: we don't want any embarrassing leakage.
The Multi-Tasker Pump: holding pumps in place with one hand while soothing baby (or writing this post) with the other
The Rise & Shine Pump: a great way to start the day!
The Work Pump: making it happen in a closet, the conference room or even sitting on a toilet lid. Gotta get it done.
The Motherload Pump: this one terrifies me. Any day now I'm expecting to hear from Good Morning America for being the first woman who's boobs actually explode. Sure it's never happened, but sometimes it really feels like it might.
The I-Wish-There-Was-Someway-To-Make-This-Look-More-Attractive Pump: no explanation needed, you can go there on your own.
I realize that cows don't have the same kind of pumps, but I'm sure they could come up with their own list of #1's!
I don't know how appropriate it is to discuss breast-pumping for the world to read, but I'd like to go ahead and put it out there: I appreciate the dairy cow. As a fellow cow these days I can totally relate.
My favorite situational pumps:
The Pre-workout pump: it's not ideal to workout with mom boobs as it is, but it's beyond miserable running or exercising when feeling full.
The Pre-Swimming pump: we don't want any embarrassing leakage.
The Multi-Tasker Pump: holding pumps in place with one hand while soothing baby (or writing this post) with the other
The Rise & Shine Pump: a great way to start the day!
The Work Pump: making it happen in a closet, the conference room or even sitting on a toilet lid. Gotta get it done.
The Motherload Pump: this one terrifies me. Any day now I'm expecting to hear from Good Morning America for being the first woman who's boobs actually explode. Sure it's never happened, but sometimes it really feels like it might.
The I-Wish-There-Was-Someway-To-Make-This-Look-More-Attractive Pump: no explanation needed, you can go there on your own.
I realize that cows don't have the same kind of pumps, but I'm sure they could come up with their own list of #1's!
No comments:
Post a Comment