So long, Christmas! Thank you for the Blessings!

So I should have confessed that as soon as Christmas is over I go a little nutty. Like get it out of my house, crazy. It's December 29th and that tree that I loved - it's outta here. So long tree, thanks for everything.  Before I rush it all into the attic too quickly though, let's recap the highlights.

Christmas is all about Little B & Nugget. They loved every moment and they are sad to see it go.
"Jingle Bells" and "Santa Is Coming To Town" are still being sung around our home and Cameron still requests "Silent Night" at bed time until he remembers that Christmas is over.

It wasn't perfect (hence the temper tantrum shown below), but it was magical - and that's the point.

There was creative reindeer food made on Christmas Eve, made with love and laughter of course. What reindeer wants glitter and oats. Our reindeer like carrots and cheerios best.

There was cookie decorating and helping Santa eat them, but making sure that at least two were left.

There were Christmas stories, and sort of explaining what we could about Baby Jesus.  Although, it's worth noting that the Baby Jesus from our "little friendly" nativity scene decided to take a break from us and hide in the couch for a few days.

Santa surprises and Christmas morning faces are the best.  The truest form of expression. The purest form of joy.

Santa & Mrs. Claus have clashing opinions when it comes to the presentation around the tree. every. year.

Christmas Eve pajamas, prayers & The Night Before Christmas remind me of Christmas' past and bring a glimmer to my eye.

Our holiday is no made-for-tv-movie with white picket fences and perfectly coiffed, right out of the bed hair, but we enjoy the bits that make it whole.  The pieces that make it our own.

We are blessed to enjoy these moments together and moments with family.  Oh how I hope that future Christmas' maintain this kind of magic for as long as possible.

Here's to your own kind of holiday magic!

Confessions of a Tired Mama, Episode 3: Holiday Version

I confess: no, I know that everyone is a complainer. Even if you think you're not, we all have our own ways of complaining. It's just a matter of how you do it. This also coincides with the southern phrase, "well, bless your heart". Or giving someone a compliment and then saying "but... ________".  There are ways to "hide" your complaints or your digs, but they are still negative. It doesn't matter how you spin them.

I confess that sometimes when things get emotional we find ways to cope that may not be like everyone else's. There is no right or wrong way.

I confess that I'm super proud of Cameron these days, see that name?!

I confess that I get OCD about Christmas shopping. Once I start I need to be done, quickly.

I confess that I love, Love, LOVE how my boys wrap around my neck when they hug me. like really hug me. It's hard when it usually comes at drop off and I need to get to work, but I soak it up and remain about 5 minutes late. #sorrynotsorry 

I confess that when Cameron really cries, like really cries... he still cries like me. Poor guy. 

I confess that Tim went a little nutty with the outside decorations this year, and continues to talk about how we'll add to it next year. Three things: I don't want to see our electric bill. I thought we agreed that we didn't need inflatable yard art.  I love this man.

I confess that Cameron has gone a little over a week without a pull up or an accident and that Payton is sleeping without a pacifier - BOOM! PARENTING WIN! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! Where's my award?

I confess that I'd like to base our Santa visit on the best looking Santa. (sounds rude, doesn't it?) However, I'm not on the ball enough to follow through with that plan. Plus, when you get gems like this, it really doesn't matter how authentic Santa looks.

I confess that I'm planning a Christmas party with myself:  baking, cocktails, holiday movie, wrapping & string, lights & music -- it's going to be awesome. Tim can come, too (although I know he'd rather not).

I confess that I love how loud my children are. I know it's not always appropriate but it shows how excited they are for every little thing: the waffle they are about to eat, the Mickey Mouse decoration our neighbor has up, the yellow school bus that we pass on the street.  We don't raise "mouse-y children".

Thanksgiving: Truck Stops, Fast Food Playgrounds and Cabin Fever

It's the first second week of December.

How the he** did that happen?

Happy Christmas Season y'all!  Oops, let's recap on Thanksgiving first, shall we?

We again made the trek to Arkansas this year to spend time with family and play in the leaves.

We had two glorious days of running around outside in the big trees. We fished, sat around the fire pit telling stories and we reconnected with family that we see one or two times a year.  It was glorious. 

THEN -- the rain started and didn't stop. We all got cabin fever and started eating/drinking a lot of junk.  The semi-decent 9 hour trek there was met with a hellacious 11 hour trip back and a video of screaming children reminding me: a) we're not making the same trip next year and b) think twice before talk of more children.

Even though the actual travel time over the holidays wasn't the happiest way to spend our time, I do have a top 10 list of my favorite memories from our adventure.

10.  Cameron & Payton's first time bowling: nick names, buckets of beer and bowling shoes.

9.  Buying a case of champagne with my sister-in-law and being carded  by the sweetest older woman. We asked her if she knew what we were making and she answered, "you're dealing with family and making memories". Boy, did she know.

8.  Going around the table at Thanksgiving dinner saying what we were each thankful for. Everyone participated, even the littles. My Father-in-law, got a little teary-eyed and had us all gushing.

7.  A little bit of car sickness which had us scrambling to a truck stop to clean up at 10PM. Cameron loved the truck stop...ew.

6.   I brought a puzzle and let's just say that when I brought it out I was teased a bit. By that evening though, family members had come together and become addicted. 

5.  Going for a run by the lake, just Tim and I and laughing about our family dynamics.  The fall colors, crisp air and a random dog we named Chuck running along side us helped our pace I think.

4.  My sister-in-law led Tim and I in a bootcamp in front of the house.  Oh the jokes that this brought on for the rest of the trip!

3.  Watching cousins love each other. Cameron thinks his older cousin hung the moon. It helps that she is one beautiful little girl. If I suggested something it was "eh", but if big cousin suggested it -- you better believe it was the best idea he had ever heard.

2.  Family Dart Tournaments & kicking my Brother-in-law's booty in pool.

1.  Dance parties.

I'm so thankful we got home safe & sound, INCREDIBLY proud of Cameron that he didn't have any accidents on our long car ride, and wondering how we can have the moments again next year, without the trek.

Hope you all had a terrific Turkey Day!

Tucker's Landing

"Be the person your dog thinks you are." ~ unknown

I got Tucker with my roommate almost 16 years ago. Tim and I were dating and I was living with two girls in a house. Tucker was not the most obedient dog and constantly had problems with separation anxiety and feeling confined, but he was loyal and loving. He was playful and snuggly. He stood by me through the "single dating life".  He was there with us through graduating college, getting engaged/married, buying our first house, moving as many times as we did, being pregnant and having babies.  He taught Cameron what it means to be a dog.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." ~ Roger Caras

Tim's favorite Tucker story to share is that I got the wrong dog. Long story short: Tim and I went to the Humane Society and picked out a dog. The next day my roomie and I went to go pick him up. We brought him home and when Tim came over the next day, he swore it wasn't the same dog. To this day, he believes that it was a yellow lab that we picked. Regardless of what dog we picked together, the Tucker dog that we brought home was the dog that was meant for us.

My favorite tid-bits about Tucker:  When we made pancakes, Tim always made a small one for him. Tucker would take it and hide it for later. If Tucker was invited to come up on the bed, he wanted to get under the covers and snuggle.  No matter which house we were living in, Tucker always found a spot. You could usually tell his spot because it was the one obvious, warn, brown spot on the carpet.  In each of our homes, we began to call this, "Tucker's Landing". We even joked about how it would be the best name for a bar when we retire.

Tucker had a stroke on Friday night as the kids and I were finishing dinner. I wasn't sure what was happening, but knew that it wasn't pretty. The boys were nervous because, well, because I was nervous. Tim rushed home and Tucker welcomed him with tail wagging as if nothing had happened.  Saturday morning after I let Tucker out, Cameron and I were just turning on some cartoons when I heard Tucker in the garage. He was having another stroke. After that one he was hurting, and it was obvious. It was time to say goodbye.

Tucker & Cameron - 2012

Tucker & Payton - 2015

Sixteen years is a long time. I like to think that Tucker and I grew up with each other.  Tim and I laughed a bit on Saturday night as we stayed up late remembering him. We got messages and notes from old friends about how much they had loved Tucker. He was one of our group, part of our family and will be so missed. We were very sad to say goodbye, and our house is not the same without him. Tucker's Landing feels very empty, to say the least.  However, sixteen years is a long time - he was with us longer than some of our friends marriages lasted.  I am truly grateful that it was fast and that we were able to minimize the pain as much as possible. 

Tucker, thank you for all that you were, even when we sometimes grumbled your name. We will miss your patience, your easy demeanor and your welcoming wag. Give Leeya a hug for me. 

Here's to you Tucker, we love you!

Lessons Learned: First Soccer Team

Well, we survived and we've learned so much already. 

They named their team the Pokemon Dragons. Cameron doesn't even know what Pokemon is. 

Confidence is not something easily taught and nervous habits start young.

Snacks drive a team.

Coaches really do make a huge difference in the outcome, especially at 3 years old, and for our first time out, we couldn't have asked for better!  

There are good days and bad days on the field too.
They shouldn't switch goals at half time until they're at least 7, just saying.
It's easy to get attached to your ball.

The three things that I wanted Cameron to really get out of his season:  

new friends, new adults, new ideas.

We wanted him to be comfortable with his team and the idea of working together. Obviously that idea will grow as he does, but this was an excellent start. He learned every single players name, and made sure that he high-fived them all after every game.

We wanted him to know that there are other adults besides his parents and teachers that he should be comfortable with. He loved Coach J and gave her a high five at the beginning and end of each game. He always told her thank you and left with a smile, no matter how much or how little he played (his choice mostly).  He was just excited to be there and doing it. He felt big and important. He loved that we were there cheering him on.

We wanted him to hear some new ideas/concepts:  hustle, offense/defense, goal, teamwork, pass, etc.
Each week Coach J tried to teach a new idea and it was pretty amazing. There were some genius ways that they tried to get some of these "new" words across by teaching certain skills totally age appropriate to help the players. From high-fiving a stuffed animal (mascot) that hung out on top of the goal after they scored or playing red light/green light to help them hustle with the ball and dribble. They are all things that Cameron understood and that we can/will continue to play at home.

I'm proud of my Pokemon Dragon and I know it will seem silly down the road, but I'm glad that he was up for it.  Great Job, Cameron! You weren't the star player, but you didn't have a pacifier in your mouth or wear a diaper on the field . You weren't crying on the sideline the whole time or sitting with your parents. You were a part of the team and you even scored a goal or two.  Don't worry, it doesn't really matter that it went to the other team that one time, we won't tell anyone.

How 'bout them apples!

Halloween was such a treat, the fact that it fell on a Saturday night and included Daylight Savings was even sweeter.

There are so many moments, so many things, that I have sealed up in my heart after this weekend. Between school spirit weeks and tailgate trick-or- treating, fall parties and being outside, there have been lots of random pictures and tidbits that I'm holding onto for as long as I can.  Payton's bank of facial expressions and Cameron's ever-growing sense of humor are over-filling this glorious life, daily.

Our family costume was awesome, one I will definitely hold on to for a long time. Disney holds a very special place in my heart and these costumes, well let's just say best.halloween.ever. Who knows, we might pull it back out for a dance party at home one night next week... or re-create it again a few years down the road.  Cameron was thrilled to dress up as Donald Duck and his smile was glowing when he first put on his costume.  

 Payton didn't really love the Mickey hat, but otherwise he was a good sport and followed his brother around like a shadow. Cameron grinned when I called him "Donald".  We had been practicing trick-or-treating and started both boys off with one piece of candy each from our stash.  The first house we went to (Cameron's first time trick-or-treating), no one was home.  At the next house, a nice man held out a bag of candy and told Cameron to pick something he'd like, Cameron proceeded to say "Trick-or-Treat" and put the candy from his bucket into the man's bag instead, it was hysterical. We walked down the driveway and Payton decided to dump his candy into the WET gutter and giggle as he splashed and played in the puddle.  Together, we decided that we'd all rather just go home and pass out candy. Turns out, we are all far better at giving than trick-or-treating.

Our street has started a tradition of gathering for a pot-luck to kick off the trick or treating. It's so fun to see kids learning who their neighbors are. Figuring out the people in our very own community. We've had conversations about what to do if we ever need help, who's house we need to go to. We've made sure that Cameron knows who our neighbors are so that he knows who is "safe".  Just today we had a neighbor that came to ask for a hand in changing a tire and Tim took Cameron to go help. It's so important for them to know community: church communities, neighborhood communities, school communities, etc.

The boys were able to dress up for school last week, but were asked to wear costumes that could "get dirty". We got creative with a farmer/cowboy and a super hero.  

(Capes, overalls and brothers. be still my heart.)

A final thought on the upcoming, uber-thankful season: it's my favorite.  We give thanks daily, but I love the reminder, love that there's a holiday to bring it all together.  Because, really, what else is there than to be thankful for all of this goodness.  Oh and PS - I know exactly where Payton and Cameron get their expressions and personalities - those apples don't fall far from their trees.

Enjoy these apples. I do.

So Long Summer...

Texas gets a longer summer than most; it's 90 degrees in the middle of October for cryin' out loud.  For most people it's super refreshing to see Fall arrive.  That means cooler temps, pumpkin everything and the start of new season/holidays.

Our family loves fall too, but summer is and will always be our favorite. We've got big plans this fall for some new favorites and new traditions, but it's still a little sad to say goodbye to summer. To lake season. To late afternoons by the pool.  To watching our boys learn their way through swimming by jumping, splashing and blowing bubbles.

We've had wonderful weekends winding summer down though. Visits from some of our favorites, trips to the pumpkin patch and lots of playing outside. There are nights when I realize that the boys have snacked their way through dinner and we are still playing in the driveway, with the sun almost asleep on a school night.  I look up and wonder, why must it get dark so early on the days where we want it all to last longer.

Recent Top 5 Moments:
*  Busting Tim & Cameron jumping in the pool (with clothes on) and running out shivering begging for towels.
*  Seeing Cameron and Payton with their "Pops & Gram", rekindling the flame after almost a year of not seeing each other.

*  Everything soccer. I'm not sure if Cameron is learning more as a player or if we are learning more as parents.  There is so much to learn and so many {very different} parenting styles out there.

*  A really, ridiculously, late night out (adults only) dressed up silly.  Best part? We took my car and I was on empty. Tim was so furious embarrassed to be seen at a gas station pumping gas dressed like he was.

*  Payton & Cameron riding around together on a "train" ride. Payton didn't want to get out and after three rounds of it we had to walk away. It wasn't pretty, but this photo is flippin' adorable.

Around Here

Making:  hmm. an introduction with the UPS man that continues to deliver my online purchases?
Cooking:  er, nothing. I've gotten worse at cooking, if that's even possible.
Drinking: skinny vanilla lattes when I get my choice in the mornings or vodka soda's when I have the evening chance.
Reading:  oh, reading you say? For myself audiobooks mostly:  All the Light We Can Not See was the last one. There is a fantastic book that has been on my nightstand since Christmas. I received it as a present and have picked it up/put it down continuously. It really is good and one day I will finish it. For the kids:  a lot of "Llama, Llama" lately. 
Wanting:  a phone that works (thanks to a water spill today) and a gym bag that doesn't get so smelly.
Looking:  at outdoor Christmas decorations and wondering if I could/would make them myself.
Playing:  outside. all the time.

Eating:  steak & shrimp tonight. definitely not the usual pizza, taco & salad rotation that you normally find around here.

Wishing:  for a way to record little snippets of moments without getting in the way of the moment itself. If I could only take pictures and videos without having to stop the moment and/or actually pull the camera/video out to capture it.

Enjoying:  family dance parties (video to come later), and this song (when I'm by myself). warning: it may not be your flavor of music.

Loving:  That Cameron is learning and remembering the songs that I sing to him or that he hears me sing. That Payton is learning how to snuggle more.

Hoping:  for peace in the hearts of all those that seek it.

Needing:  Nothing. I'm a very lucky girl.

Smelling:  the fresh air

Wearing:  comfortable clothes - I love weekends.

Noticing:  just how much the boys are growing. it doesn't seem real sometimes.

Bookmarking:  ideas for Christmas gifts. I'm really shooting for simple things this year, things that I think/hope are useful.  Eek, I mentioned Christmas twice in this blog post and it's not even Halloween yet. Boo!

Warm Fuzzies

Back in our days of church retreats we used to have something called "warm fuzzies". These were notes that people would send you throughout the weekend retreat of positive messages or good vibes.  Sometimes they were as simple as "I like your smile." Other times they were more specific: stories about friendships or of happy memories.

This morning I received an unexpected warm fuzzy that warmed my soul.

Everyone in this world is different.  Each person holds their own very special and unique qualities.  In our family, we work diligently to make sure that we treat every one with respect and kindness.  We share our love.  Our family is familiar with all kinds of special people and we love them fiercely, unconditionally.  This is one of the biggest, most important, lessons that I want to teach Cameron and Payton.  No matter their age, no matter how cool or uncool it may seem... it is crucial.  I read this blog 2 days ago that I shared on facebook that discussed a big sister getting taunted because some kids in her 3rd grade class found out her little sister had down syndrome. The one sentence that has been burned into my memory from that blog went something like this: "We raise them strong so that they will change the world".

When I dropped the boys off at school this morning, Cameron's teacher shared the best story.  She told me how sweet Cameron was, and after his 30 minute temper tantrum last night I sort of rolled my eyes. She grabbed my hand and said,

 "No Nicole, Cameron has the sweetest heart".  She went on to tell me about a little boy in his class that is not at the same level as the other kids, that has a hard time speaking.  She said that Cameron will take him by the hand and bring him out to the sand to play with him. That he will coach him and tell him words to say trying to teach him. That he will patiently play with him as quietly as his friend needs. Cameron's teacher said it brought tears to the eyes of all the grown ups watching because the other kids will treat this little boy differently and say hurtful things. The teachers do their best to help all of the kids understand and to teach them to be kind, but as Cameron's teacher noted, there is a huge difference in Cameron's helpful and caring ways.

Y'all.  My heart.  I still get choked up thinking about it.
He's listening when we tell him about being kind to every person he meets.
He's understanding that all people are different, but that we always need to be a good friend.
I pray every night that he and Payton are changing the world daily with warm fuzzies.

I am one proud Mama today. I'll take a 30 minute temper-tantrum for a story like that any day.

Best. Warm. Fuzzy. EVER.

Take note. Share the love that you have. It will make your Mama proud. 

Quality Relationships with our Kids

There's something to be said for quality time with our kids, but even more to create and cultivate the one on one relationships with them.  Together these two little boys that we are raising are beyond a handful at times: The Dynamic Duo. There is a constant give and take between the two of them and we are really seeing some new things in their friendship.  "Sharing is caring" has always been a silly  motto around here, but it's been heightened lately now that Payton can express what he wants, when he wants it.  

Recently, I've watched Tim gain management controls for certain pieces of our day and I hold the key to others. Our morning rituals of waffles, have now become filled with morning surprises that are layered on top of the waffle depending on how everyone's morning is going.  If Cameron doesn't have any "temper-tampers" then he and Tim have created a game that ends with a surprise that Cameron really wants.  I'm not sure if he wants it more because it's usually a sweet treat, or if he wants it more because Tim is making him laugh so hard as he creates the surprise.

After school, we rally Tucker from wandering the streets by watching Payton call him - "D-ah" (like dog without the g) and patting his belly.  We check the mail and we maneuver the trash cans as needed.  We work together to get something edible for dinner on the table, and boom the night works its way down the to-do list.  Sure, there is always time for laughing or dance parties, books or games but tends to be on a pretty solid timeline.

Taking a moment of one on one time and separating the kids has become pretty magical, too.  We have our individual ways, we have our bonds and special ways we connect.  I won't speak for Tim, but when I catch he and Cameron sharing a moment, it makes me gush.  I see little glimpses of the future and more importantly I know how much Cameron will treasure those moments as he gets older.

I have my own moments with each of them too, of course. But the one I captured this weekend was with Payton while Cameron and Tim worked on the sprinklers.

Moments with the baby of the family really melt my heart, especially at this stage. He wants to do everything and is going to push the limits on life for us. 

It's ok, he'll look adorable doing it and it will keep me young at heart... Right?

To the Grandparents in our lives: Happy Grandparents Day! 

We appreciate you and love you more then we'll ever be able to show you.

These two We are all incredibly lucky to have so many kinds of love from so many cherished people in our lives.  

We are beyond grateful for the quality relationships that each of you hold with our Dynamic Duo.

Happy Places

There are special places that cause my heart to skip a beat. I hold my breath and release it slowly. You can feel the magic in the air. If it's really good, you get a little choked up too. 

When your happy places become your kids happy places the feeling doubles... no triples! 

Things to Note:

The waves in Texas aren't that big, but they are waves and that's what matters.

My sand-castle-making-skills are on point.

But my sunscreen skills are lacking.

Sand gets everywhere and in everything, I'm still finding it in things that didn't even come with us. It's like a special way of reminding you of where you've been, of the memory. 

Payton hasn't stopped trying to jump since we taught him about jumping over the waves.

Life is happier with sun-kissed cheeks and sand in your toes.