Holly Jolly Blessings

It happens every year. Thanksgiving and Christmas feel like siblings some times, oh so close that you continue to remind yourself of just how thankful you are, and yet, they are completely different.

We're trying to create our own traditions and memories, trying to teach Cameron what every little piece means, but it's hard to explain it all. It's difficult to understand how out-of-this-world some of the Christmas stuff seems and to really think about how a 2 year old sees it all.  

Favorites of life during the holidays:

* Cameron singing Christmas carols and trying to hit every note

* The 5 year old in Tim that tries to amp up Cameron's rookie Christmas knowledge

* Hearing Cameron talk about the Christmas lights that are so pretty

*  Payton army-ish-crawling towards the train that wraps the tree and Cameron becoming so protective of all of it

*  that real tree smell

* the daily dose of Christmas and Holiday cards that we all fight over to see at the end of the day

*  the annual competition between Mr. Claus and Mrs. Claus as to who will win the gift giving competition (Mrs. Claus continues to argue that it isn't a competition.)

*  the discussion of when certain gifts will be age appropriate

*  family, family, family and more family

There will be matching pajamas, a dose of Christmas movies, milk & cookies for Santa (carrots for the reindeer) and lots of merry & jolly.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this Mama can make it to Midnight Mass for her own dose of Christmas blessings & prayers, but even if it doesn't happen this year I know that God gets it. There's lots of learning going on for this little family unit of mine, adults included.  From our first Christmas together arguing over tinsel or no tinsel to now, we continue to grow and find our Christmas blessings.  

Beyond the hooplah, here's to that first glimpse in the morning.  The peak of a million moments hidden in one little exciting glimpse of wonderment and love.

((Oh and one more... here's to those that are away from their families this holiday season protecting everything we know, you bless our lives.  May their families be given extra pieces of love while they are away.))

Merry Christmas. Happy Everything.

Holidays

These two.

I love the traditions, the events, the lights and decorations, the sounds of Christmas, but I find myself falling out of love by the time Christmas actually arrives.  Our two little munchkins are our gifts, even when they're a little rotten.  I want to soak up every minute of the new-ness that they are seeing in Christmas right now, and it seems that so much of the other junk gets in the way. I want to sing Jingle Bells with Cameron and giggle as he tries to follow along. I want to buy silly matching Christmas pajamas for them to wear on Christmas Eve.  I want to teach him the pieces and people of the nativity scene that was passed on to me by my Grandmother.

We're not canceling Christmas, but we're going to try a new twist. If our kids receive gifts all year long and they know nothing but a blessed life, then why does our house need to look like Santa threw up this time of year?

It doesn't.

If we start a twist on tradition this year, then maybe they'll never know any other way?  Then perhaps we'll prevent them from only seeing visions of presents in their precious heads. 

I don't want to be scrooge and not participate or tell Grandparents people that we won't be receiving gifts, BUT we are very lucky and very loved and sometimes it can all become too much.
We have to want to maintain the meaning of Christmas in our home, it's so important. 

Here's to a lighter, leaner Christmas filled with stronger moments.

Here's to keeping it simple.

Here's to spreading Joy.

Here's to Jingle Bells and cookies with Santa.

Here's to this kind of magic and preserving it for as long as possible.

Dear Nugget

8 months? Is it so? I keep counting it over and over to make sure, I even used my fingers a couple of times to double check.  I can't believe it, everything is moving so fast.  I'm not sure if you're moving in your Brother's foot steps on your own or if we're creatures of habit so you do what your brother likes (or did) because it's what we know. 

That little bout of worry that I had thinking you were too skinny is long gone, you're rounding out and I think you're happy about it too.

Now, on to the list of fun:

Favorite Snack: anything and everything, but Mum Mum's are in first place and puffs seem to be a fun treat right now. I don't think we're very far from pizza crusts and waffles!

Favorite Food:  Fruit tops the list, but for the most part you'll eat anything

Best Thing To Calm You Down:  TV! As strange as it sounds a Mickey Mouse cartoon or a Sesame Street episode work like magic to entertain you. -- your thumb isn't half bad either --

Favorite Past Time:  watching your brother and taking a bath

Favorite Toy:  anything Cameron is willing to give you to play with that you can chew on, that brother of yours is the President of the Toys! 

You love seeing yourself in the mirror and you still kick your legs like a wild man when you're really excited.  You smile at strangers. You're not quite crawling yet, but scooting like crazy after that big brother who is always just a little out of your reach.  You are vocal (I say that nicely) only when you need to be, even it's not always most convenient for me/us.  You are beginning to have your favorites and you're not scared to share your opinion on who or what you want.

Payton you are a joy.

You are so handsome and such a charmer already, definitely a Benton!

Thank you for your sharing your magic with us little man.

You are loved, so much so.

To the moon & back.

ThankFull.

We took an adventure.

One vehicle, two parents, two children and a bag o snacks went on a sassy road trip to Thanksgiving. When Cameron was learning about Thanksgiving he and his friends at school talked of turkey and pie. They talked about traditions and families and what makes up Thanksgiving. Right now, in his eyes, Thanksgiving is a place, a thing, a moment all wrapped up in a cabin in Hot Springs, Arkansas.  It's a place filled with noise and people, moments of laughter and love. It's a big picture of family. It's standing outside and looking in at our time out for ThankFull. Our thankful world. I like his picture. I like his Thanksgiving. We didn't have turkey or pie. We had each other. Just see for yourself, it was 4 days of together. Four days of giggles in the kitchen, cousins becoming friends, cups of coffee in pajamas, of taking too long to get our group together, of telling stories around the fire pit, of blushing when someone took a joke too far... it was 4 days of family.

 (yes, even if it's cold, I soak up sunshine wherever I can.)

 Learning how to roll down the hill.

Showing lots of thanks when it comes to brothers.

I hope that you all had a blessed Thanksgiving; If your turkey was ham and your pie was a cookie, I hope that you made the most of it and celebrated togetherness.  It doesn't matter what you eat or where you are - family is our beginning.

A Decade of Adventures

 We haven't traveled the world, but we've learned from our surroundings no matter where we are.
We aren't wealthy, but we're rich with happiness.
We aren't brilliant scholars, but we're professional smart asses.
We aren't prim & proper, but we're kind.
We don't have perfect grammar, but we communicate well. for the most part.
We aren't perfect, but we are a lovely mess.

Ten years is a long time, my friends, and to be honest -- this party is just getting started.

We learn more about each other every day. Even though I feel like we know each other better than we know ourselves, there is always a surprise among us. Why? Because we grow.

Tim and I first met each other through a retreat, or so we've been told, neither of us remember meeting each other. Our friendship started from a mutual friend and even then we both questioned the other person. There were practical jokes, an extreme amount of sarcasm, and extra sides of sass.  This progressed into a "date" that was sort of brought on by an intoxicated dare.  No one saw it coming and I know we were both skeptical, but something about it just made sense.  Sarcasm and sass can be a nice topping for love.

We have memories on top of memories, adventures leapfrogging adventures and stories that will make Tim blush, but this story, this home, this family is one that will entertain us for a lifetime.

As an experiment, I gave Tim some homework and then I gave it to myself - enjoy! (warning, Tim is a fan of comedy and shock value.)

Tim:
What is your favorite thing about me?  Your patience
What was your favorite thing about me 10 years ago? Your Ass
What moment did you fall in love with me? When you still wanted to hug me even though I was covered in poison ivy.
What moment did you decide to ask me to marry you?  When all my tools got stolen and I could finally afford a ring with the insurance coverage!
What is your fondest memory over the last 10 years?  You throwing up out of the truck window with the window up.
What was your favorite meal that I cooked then?  The "bomb" taco salad.
What is your favorite meal that I cook now?  Hamburgers... I feel like we have digressed in this category,
What is the most difficult thing about marriage, in your opinion?  Thermostat setting and the amount of blankets that you pile on
What's the best thing about marriage?  Balance

Nicole:
What is your favorite thing about me?  Sense of Humor, by far.
What was your favorite thing about me 10 years ago?  You had a boat.
What moment did you fall in love with me?  When you helped me move into my first apartment from Austin to Denton and my mattress almost fell out of your truck.
What moment did you know I was it?  Our road trip to Reno and the letter that you wrote to my Grandfather for his 70th Birthday was icing on the cake!
What is your fondest memory over the last 10 years?  Walking home in the rain from Dallas Night Club on New Years Eve.
What was your favorite surprise?  You are full of surprises:  leaving flowers in your truck (that I was borrowing), visits from best friends and generally just doing things because you know it will make me happy. Best surprise ever -- a tv to watch while I took a bath. Worst surprise ever -- a Christmas present when we said we weren't going to give gifts.
What is the most difficult thing about marriage?  most difficult after kids - watching what I say or do. most difficult before kids - trusting someone 100% takes time.
What is the best thing about marriage?  Sharing the balance of every day life and always having a person.

Ten years, 8 moves, 2 dogs, 2 miscarriages, 2 kids, a business, lots of family to love and laugh with on all sides and we're still making it! I'm not sure how it can feel like just yesterday and forever all at the same time, but it does.

Thank you for this one amazing life that we are living together. I will continue to make you dance in random places, sing at the top of my lungs (even when I don't know the right words), and cook badly. If you will continue to steal my water, hog my blankets and take forever to try on clothes.

I did.

I do.

I will.

Love you.

Two Point Five

A little time to catch up on this kid -- he's two.point.five now!

Dear Cameron, 

You are two but really you're twelve.

You're not potty trained yet, but I love you still.

Some of the things you say get me right in the depths of my heart. Things that I want to remember forever.

"Chep up" = ketchup

"Pick you up" = Will you pick me up?

"You happy, Mama?"  "Yes, I'm happy. Are you happy Cameron?" "No, I'm tired."

 "I be yellow hat"

"Father, Son... Amen"

When you are coming inside and I have music playing, I absolutely love that you run to the speaker and start dancing and singing.  It makes my heart skip a beat.

You like the ladies.

From what I can tell, they like you too.  You have a little girlfriend that you actually changed seats for during circle time yesterday. Your teacher's say that it's getting serious.  

I'm already nervous about the talk and at 2.5 it's a whole different talk then it is at 13.

Right now, I really appreciate that you are a bit more hesitant than other kids.  You try things but you tend to stand back and wait a minute before you do. I know this will probably change as you get older, but it's nice that for the most part, I know your speed and style.

Your favorites (by you):

Movie/Show:  Mickey Mouse. Einsteins

Song: All About that Base AND Shake it Off

Food: tacos. and pancakes. and waffles.

Number: 2

Game: Daddy

Toy:  Yellow ball and Blue Bat (golf and baseball)

Place:  my house

We love you Cameron, every little bit of you.
even if you aren't potty trained yet.

To the Moon & Back Little B!

Things I Love

1. falling asleep in the sun with a book

2.  dancing it out

3. seeing your kids whole body smile when they laugh

4.  the warmth of a coffee cup, if there's a sunrise or a beautiful view, even better!

5.  surprise phone calls from my sisters that end with a sigh because it feels so good to connect

6.  pictures

7.  seeing Tim watch Cameron &  Payton play

8.  seeing Cameron's pride glow when he figures something out on his own

9.  fresh sheets & new shoes

10.  the way my Mama just knows

11.  a drink by the fire

12.  planning something fun

13.  the beach, more specifically the sandpipers that run along the beach

14.  organizing and de-cluttering: i hate it, but i love it.
15. champagne and fireworks, in any order
16.  the way Payton kicks his legs when he's excited
17.  pass ports, airline tickets and luggage -- just the idea of them, even when I'm not going anywhere.
18.  family dinners, throwing napkins and specific food that brings back memories.
19.  adventure
20.  a good song and the windows down
21. saying or doing something and instantly knowing which person in your life taught you that lesson or who you get that trait from. i mean you know it so fast that it makes you smile.
22.  bare feet and sunkissed cheeks
23.  Payton's dimple
24.  ice cream
25. the little things hidden in the bigger things

Dear Nugget

Seven Months.

Can it really be?

You have the funniest facial expressions.
You scream when we don't feed you fast enough.
Like SCREAM!
You are so chill. We get comments wherever we go about what a good baby you are.
Your favorite toy is your brother.
You put everything in your mouth.
You are observing every.little.thing.
You're reaching and grabbing and sitting up and moving.
I keep warning Cameron that you will be crawling soon and then we're really going to have to share our toys.
You are still my little nugget, but I'm starting to see some Cameron-style-cheeks.
You like story time, especially if it's in Cameron's room.
I can't decide what your favorite food is because you seriously like them all..
Your teacher calls you "Pay-Pay". It's funny, but I can't bring myself to do it.

You and Cameron have wars at dinner to see who can sit up straight the longest.

It's actually a secret weapon that your Dad and I came up with to get you both to sit up in your chair so that you learn to eat right. Don't tell anyone ok?

7 months baby and we're living it up! 

I'll never boast that we've got it down, because things change every minute, but (as far as I'm concerned) it's kind of nice to say so long to the baby-baby stage.

We love you more every day and we are so thankful for the extra bits of laughter and happy that you have brought to our Benton World. 

Happy 7 months!

Happy Halloween

I never thought about what it was like to try and teach a little person all of the specifics when it comes to holidays and traditions. Explaining the difference between playing dress up and actually dressing up can be kind of challenging. Especially if/ when that little person all of a sudden has an opinion and likes to express it!

Cameron's favorite part of Halloween was answering the door and learning neighbor's names. I'm not sure how long we're going to be able to get away with not actually trick-or-treating, but I kind of like it.

This year Cameron was The Man in the Yellow Hat and Payton was Curious George. This Mama thinks that her boys are adorable no matter what they are wearing. I mean there is nothing wrong with The Man in the Yellow Hat and Camo Shorts! 

Side story:  Cameron's teachers had a Halloween party for his class and told everyone that the kids could wear their costume to school.  The thought of wearing his costume to school was more then Cameron could handle. Since I didn't want him to feel left out I grasped for straws trying to get Cameron to take anything that resembled a costume that he could change into. He wasn't having any of it. I quickly and quietly stashed his apron and chef's hat into his backpack and told his teacher that I didn't care if he dressed up or not, but that there was a costume in his backpack just in case. When I went to pick him up, that little stinker was living in the apron and chef's hat. Icing on the cake? In circle time, Cameron told all of his friends that I forgot his Man in the Yellow Hat costume at home. Grr!

Mommyhood

Life doesn't seem to slow down. like ever.  There are things going on from sunup to way past sundown. I do my best to do it all with a smile, patience and a little bit of grace togetherness.  It doesn't always come out the way we intend it to, but what's that saying?  God laughs at our plans.

* I've been staying up far too late recently. I find myself needing moment(s) to myself to escape everything else and watch one flippin show that has nothing to do with anything. I want/need to laugh, to cry, to feel something in someone else's life that has absolutely nothing to do with anything for one hour. That hour just happens to come after the 10 o'clock news.

* Tim's shingles are lingering.  They aren't full born shingles anymore, and all things considered he's been able to manage the pain really well. However, he did not find it at all entertaining, nor did he understand what I meant when I said, "well at least it was you and not me".  I had to go on and explain that life would be a little difficult if "mommy had shingles" and then he made me feel bad because I basically said that Mommy was more important than Daddy. My bad, that's not exactly what I was saying.

*  When you take your kids furniture shopping, do it carefully. Plan your route. Decide which stores you really want to attempt that kind of an adventure in. When you're worried about the store and even more worried about your kid, take food to keep them busy, but remember you only have as long as that food lasts and whatever you do - don't choose messy food.

*  Lately when we leave Cameron we've been telling him that we're going for "a run". Usually this works for him and he knows I'm coming back. I'm beginning to notice signs that he's starting to realize that I'm not being completely honest. Do you think it's the fact that I'm not wearing running clothes or the fact that I don't come back sweaty that gives it away?

*  I've recently begun a tradition with Cameron that stems from long ago moments with my Grandfather, something that makes me smile every time we hug.

*  We carved and painted pumpkins. It was glorious. It was funny.  It was family. and I loved every minute.  What's even better is that we say goodbye to the pumpkins every morning when we leave for school and Cameron makes sure that we say goodbye to Tucker's pumpkin in particular. He's a riot. Yes, you read that right we have a pumpkin for Tucker; 5 pumpkins in all - one for every member of our family.  and no I didn't roast any seeds, that would be far too crafty and resourceful.

*Therapy comes in all forms, sort of like God. You can find hidden magic in all sorts of things if you take the time to let your shoulders relax and take a minute.  Here's to taking a minute when I have them, grabbing the camera when I need to but also knowing when to put it down and just soak it up.  That's what Mommyhood is all about - or so I'm learning.

*  Oh and before I forget: I have to say it somewhere -- I've still got it.  I might be getting older, my body might have jiggly bits and sag more than I ever knew was possible, but I've still got it! I can dance, I can sing (horribly), I can have fun and I can still be a good Mom.  I may never have it all together, to be honest I hope that I don't -- what would be the fun in that, but as long as my family and I can find something that resembles a dance floor and find our rhythm, life is good.